Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Dance

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Sunday, August 29, 2010

goin on an over- nighter

Laura Leigh and I will be heading out  this afternoon..to Covington, Tn....just north of Memphis. That is where I lived from age 10 to 19. The high school I attended is holding a "50's decade" reunion next month and some of those involved with the planning, along with other "old-timers" who still live around there have been meeting for lunch one day a month for a while....so we will be taking the five hour drive to join them  on Monday..long drive for a lunch :)...My sister still lives in Memphis and my brother-in-law near Covington...so it's not as though we were just going for lunch. Barb had planned to go with me but forgot and enrolled in  a class that's out of town...She's been a hair stylist for 30 years and is one of, if not THE best in this area...but still takes classes a couple of times a year...that's probably why she's so good  and has such a successful business...she stays current on everything related to the beauty industry....anyway, she would not agree to my going by myself so my sweet grand-daughter is taking me...what a trouper!..willing to have lunch with all us old-timers.
 I'm looking forward to (I think) driving around Covington and seeing the places Bob and I spent time together...we stayed in Covington for the first year after we married before moving to Memphis.

the county courthouse on the square..present day

1987 we were back for a visit...I worked at Roper Drugs for several years while in school. The house Bob and I had an apartment is down this street, on the left..and down at the very end of the street you can see a small building...that is a clinic where my mother worked and where our  first child  was born.

520 W. Liberty...the home my mother grew up in and where, until Bob and I married, I lived with her, my grandmother and my four siblings

my mother, grandmother and possibly my great grandmother on the front steps of that house

Bob and I rented an apartment in the upper left hand side of this house on Main St. ..the first year we were married. ...we paid $50 per month for a three roon, furnished apartment in this lovely old home....This picture was made much later..ie  auto in drive is not a 50's vehicle and there was no cirular drive in the front at that time..

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Letter #31

September 8, 1951
Nurnberg, Germany
"Hello Darling,
   Have you at times been unable to compose a letter to someone you loved?  It happened to me last night and the person to whom I'm referring is you of course.  I pondered for two nights and finally gave up. Then as I lay in bed at the point of sleep the thoughts that had eluded me came as if the answer to a puzzle. All the thoughts and aspirations fitted together,  a vision of you and the last day we were together. I felt as though it had all been a dream. Reality could not be that wonderful. My life was brimming with happiness, dreams had been fulfilled. I had been awarded my loftiest ambition, the love of my life on earth.  Then, certain that I'm the luckiest male on earth I drifted off into untroubled slumber.  Now I'm sitting in a room devoid of color, trying to place together the fragments of those thoughts..
   As of last week I'm the head cat in the confinement of prisoners. I haven't decided whether it's a promotion or a demotion.  I did get a private office out of the deal though.  At present it is being redecorated and I'm using a temporary office.  I say office, in truth it's only a cubby hole when compared to the other rooms but it'll have to do for the time being.  Actually I'm tickled pink to have an office of my own even though it's ridiculously small.

   No, I haven't received the package you sent yet. I meet the postman twice a day. I would meet him more often but he only makes two trips to the APO daily.
   I'm listening to a sports program over AFN.  I've noticed that Tennessee is the top team in the nation. It would be great if you and I could see some of the games together this year. When I was a civilian I lived behind Crump Stadium.  I saw some terrific games, both college and prep school.  They had the East-West Prep School championship game there this year.
   Hump, Sgt Rivera and I went out the other night to paint the town red.It would have been very unusual if we hadn't wound up in a Gasthaus.  That is a combination restaurant and beer hall.  Some joker came in taking pictures and we had one made.  I'm enclosing it within the letter so don't be surprised at what you see.  Personally I think I look like a criminal. But then I'm definitely the criminal type...no wise cracks.

   Charlene, this is a short letter I know.  There is so little to talk about except us.  You and I.  Sometimes I think I use the subject too much, then again, the thought of you and our love makes me realize that, though I talk long and earnestly about it, I could never cover the subject as it should be.  I think of all the things we could do together for fun, Cotton Carnival, swim, dance, picnic, movies, long trips on Sunday such as Reeffoot Lake or Hot Springs, Ar.  Yes I'm seeing some of the world but I'd rather see and be with my "SCHATZI"
  (I had to look that up...it's German for honey, sweetie, darling, precious, treasure...)

   I'm leaving for tonight but I'll be back.. In the meantime be good and have fun.

Love and kisses,

Thinking of you, Laura

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Friday, August 20, 2010

Destin, Fl.

Barb and I...just the two of us...gonna enjoy some sun, eat seafood, shop, maybe a movie.....leave in the morning...376 miles down the entire state of Alabama...and it's a looong state...will return Monday....
pictures later...

"before"...  Once upon a time... (57 years ago)
 my bathing suit was yellow.
I may show some "after"pictures later...or maybe not.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

looking inside

My passion is ...
 my family
I know too much about ...
My grandmother always told me...
 do your best
My childhood ambition ..
 to have someone to love me
 and have a home and family
My favorite memory is..
 the first time I saw Bob
My worst memory is...
 watching him die
Why I write ...
 it's freeing
What I am reading/watching/listening to ...
 the humming of the little fan on my desk
My first job was ..
My best moment ...
 becoming a mother...five times

Monday, August 16, 2010

Letter # 26

I need very much to hear Bob speak to me tonight....so I got out his letters and pretended I was 16 again...I was unable to fool my heart tho, as the tears continue to flow and the heart continues to ache...

"Aug. 29,1951
Nurenburg, Germany

Hi Kitten,
   Just got back from a movie and was it exciting! It was a western, one of those rip-roaring, wild, woolly and full of fleas type.  And you should have seen all the beautiful women, all dead and scalped.  I suppose that you know by now how well I like that kind of show...
   How are things and people around and about Covington?  Got a letter dated the 23rd. and you seem to be enjoying life.  I'm really glad that you're having fun.  I only wish that we were having it together.
   My apologies for not writing more often. The reason I haven't  is simple.  I thought that your feelings for me had changed in the time we've been separated.  Not that I care less for you because I still care for you as much  if not more than when I left."

   It hurts me even now, 59 years later, that he ever thought that I no longer loved him...I don't know what was said or done to cause him to think that.

   "And as far not wanting your letters that is absolutely not true.  They mean everything to me.
   So Dad took you and Molly to dinner. I'm glad to know that.  He should do it more often.  I haven't  any idea why he thinks I can come home for Christmas though.  Furlough time accrues at the rate of 2 1/2 days per month and that would give me only 19 days for traveling and time at home.

   You know something Charlene, we need to have a discussion, you and I, about us."

That is SO like him...he was always up front about whatever was on his mind or bothering him....he was always good at "communicating"...on the other hand, my feelings usually have to be pryed out of me...at least when it comes to something unpleasant or anything that results in a confrontation...we were quite different in a lot of ways....back to his letter...

   "It's hard to discuss anything by correspondance because of the time it takes to receive an answer but here goes.  You know that I'm deeply in love with you and at present there is nothing I can do to prove it but write.  You also know that it will be 18 months before we see each other again.  As you've said before, we  both will change in some respects.  Maybe not in our physical self but more or less in our aspect on life.  In your case, you're still in school and there is a chance that you'll meet some young swain that will have more on the ball than me  (no way...never in a million years...I never thought that)  and its possible that you'll fall for him. (I hope that never happens) To sum it all up,in short, here it is.  I love you and want you to wait for me, but if you should fall for someone else, be honest with me.  If I should ever care for someone more that you, believe me, I would tell you. 

   As far Spike Jones ruining our song...he can't do that to us.  It isn't nice for him to slaughter such beautiful music. ..especially "Too Young".
   Time for lights out so this will have to be goodnight.

Sweet Dreams Kitten,
Much love,

P.S. I'll write more often, I promise.
PPS 'Still love me? huh?
PPPS Thanks again for the pictures.  They're really good. Got anymore?.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I Loved You First

When I saw the title of this poem I immediately thought of my grandson , Bobby, and the little "game" he plays...whenever I say "I love you", he replies, "I love you more", to which I reply, "I love you more-er, to which he responds, I love you more-er-est...and on and on...Here's the sweet little guy helping his Meme with an earring last week.

I like this poem...I wish that I could write poetry...I love the way it so clearly expresses some one's feelings..

Monna Innominata [I loved you first]
by Christina Rossetti 

 I loved you first: but afterwards your love,
Out soaring mine, sang such a loftier song
As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.
Which owes the other most? My love was long,
And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;
I loved and guessed at you, you contrued me
And loved me for what might or might not be—
Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.
For verily love knows not 'mine' or 'thine';
With separate 'I' and 'thou' free love has done,
For one is both and both are one in love:
Rich love knows nought of 'thine that is not mine';
Both have the strength and both the length thereof,
Both of us, of the love which makes us one.

Dear Cheryl, Tina...and other unnamed persons

.....many thanks for your prayers and for"sticking with me"...I'm sure my blog is not a fun place to visit and a real turn-off for most people...I suppose I use  it to get some of the troubled, mixed up feeling out of my mind...has it helped.?..I believe so....'gonna try and change the "tone" to something a bit more pleasant. (That's a sign right there that I'm getting better isn't it!)

Well, lets see how long this attitude will last      
I'm sure I'll fall off the wagon from time to time.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Four Months

121 days....without you
121 days....waiting for it to get easier
121 days....wondering where your  soul is
121 days....wanting to be where ever you are
121 days....wishing, regetting, remembering

121 nights....alone

Thursday, August 12, 2010

You'll Never Know

It was always just you...and now you're gone.
Where are you...are you okay?
There's never a moment when I'm not thinking of you
   remembering  remembering remembering
Everything is in the past.
I want to see you, I want to hear your voice,
I want to hold your hand and feel your touch.
You were a part of me and now  that large part of me is empty
   and it hurts.
I miss you so much and
  you'll never know

Sunday, August 8, 2010

full house

We've had lots of good company for a while.
Bobby here for a month...then Brian the last two weeks. Nicki since Wednesday...Laura, with two of her girls and her three grandchildren arrived Saturday...
UNFORTUNATELY,,,B & B, Laura and her family are leaving tonight!... and Nicki will be going back to Chicago Wednesday...this place is really going to be quiet, empty and lonely. B & B will be flying back to Dallas but Laura and her "crew" will be driving the 12 hours...part way tonight and the balance tomorrow...don't envy them that drive...Bob and I made it many times coming over here from Dallas.

I didn't get many good pictures while they were here...My camera was on a wrong setting and most of the ones I took were not in focus...I'm sure there will be many good ones on Barbs camera...will post some of them later..
Yesterday all of us (13)  enjoyed the pool at Laura Leigh's house

I got some new friends...meet Jack and Jill...tiger barbs...really too small to see right now...waiting for the new aquarium's water to make it through the neutralizing period  so I can add more fish...

Friday, August 6, 2010

letter # 25

August 21,1951

"Hi  Stranger,
   "Long time no see."  Seems a bit strange sitting here writing letters again.  It has been quite a while you know.
   Tonight I'm being initiated into the mysteries of a C.Q's duties here at the stockade.  If it means anything, C.Q. is the abbreviation for "Charge of Quarters." It's only a practice run tonight but Sat. , starting at 12 noon , I'll be on duty 20 hours until 8 o"clock Sunday morning.  It gets quite lonely about 1 am in the prison compound, believe me 20 hours duty without sleep doesn't appeal to me.
   I've received 4 letters from you since  Thursday and I'm sorry that I haven't answered them sooner but I've been busy as a one eyedman in a three ring circus for the past 2 weeks.
  We had an accident yesterday.  One of the prisoners was killed by a tank retriever. Now don't ask me what that is because frankly, I don't know.  The man's back was broke and he died almost instantly. Hideous way to die isn't it.  Personally, I'd much prefer to die of old age.  It wouldn't break my heart at all if I should live to be a hundred.
   Was I embarrassed after hearing of the mix up in letters between you and Dad.  My face is still a deep scarlet.  I don't care for you reading my letters to him, but the idea of him reading my mail to you really mortifies me.  Not that I care for anyone knowing how I feel toward you, it's just the idea of...well, you know what I mean.
   As a rule I go to school 2 nights a week, have C.Q. once or twice, so you can see how busy I am.  You'd think with all the work there is to do there would be a little news.  It's obvious by this letter though  that there isn't.
   About those pictures you sent.  "Thanks a million."  They only prove what I've thought all along...how can one girl have so much.  Seems slightly unfair the way beauty is distributed around Covington.  I have all your pictures on the wall's of my locker. My favorite is one of the first you sent.  You're standing with your weight on one leg and your head is tilted back slightly.  You have on a plaid dress, I think. This picture really appeals to me.
   Well Kitten, it's about time for head count again, so I'll just quit for tonight.  Goodnight, pleasant dreams, I hope you sleep well.
As ever,

Compared to his other letters this one seems a bit "cool" ???? Wonder if I sensed this at the time?  I wonder if he had met "Ellen"? His writing did become less frequent....26 letters the first two months he was gone...June and July..., only 4 in August...and only 19 letters the following 16 months....they ceased in April 1952...one year after he left and 8 months before he returned....I never did receive a "dear John"...as best as I can remember he just stopped writing.  I heard through his sister that he had met someone over there that he was involved with, and I was dating and "involved with" someone else also...I'm sure he knew about that...so I was quite surprised when he returned and everything between us was just as it had been when he left.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

from The Rocket City

US Space and Rocket Center...Huntsville, Al.
Bobby and Brian enjoyed shotting off their rockets tonight...trouble is, Bobby only got off three launches before his came down who knows where...and Brian only one launch.....Brian launched his before I could get pictures....they are now left with their launch pads, some extra fuel cells, the igniters but...no rockets...expensive toy for 15 min. of fun . 

Monday, August 2, 2010

Thelma and Louise

Meet my 2 new friends...