Thursday, July 30, 2009


Who knew that taking a walk would be such an accomplishment...The weather finally cooled off enough for Bob to take a walk...with Nicki and wheelchair following close behind in case his legs gave out...which they sometimes do...but he made it all the way around the pool area outside our apt... cheers...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Weekend with all 5 of our children..

The time went by too fast but I'm thankful for any amout of time to be with them.

We missed Laura in this photo...never did get one of all five of them together.

After almost 3 weeks without treatment or pain med. he is strong enough, and alert enough to be up most of the day...he's able to concentrate long enough to read his bible and watch TV. It's soooo nice to see him getting better...resumed treatment Monday...three more weeks...maybe this last stint won't be as hard on him as the first

Friday, July 24, 2009

Blessed Routine...things are settling down

We have a routine going for us now..Bob's gets up anywhere between 7 and 9 (depending on his night)...I check his blood sugar level and temperature and then I do my thing with his food and medicines...crush all pills and/or tablets and empty capsules... (Lisinopril (blood pressure), Prevacid (acid indigestion), Terazosin ( enlarged prostate), B12, multi vitamin, and a Fiber Choice tablet. I add a small amount of warm water to this concoction and give it to him thru his tube...then I juice different things for him (orange, apple, grapes, cantaloupe, tomatoes, celery, spinish..etc)....I feed him some of this, along with his Carnation 560 calorie drink, and 10 - 12 ounces of water. We have medicines for nausea and constipation but seldom have to use them. . We do the Carnation VHC drink and water three times a day...need to get it up to four. After breakfast he takes a nice, warm shower that he really enjoys...sitting in his tub chair, his back to the spouts, letting the warm water wash over his back and head. This really relaxes him 'cause he conks out afterward. After his nap he's up most of the day able to concentrate for short periods of time on reading, watching TV, sitting out on the patio or having visits from friends. He even takes small trips in the car with me. .. sometimes a nap in the afternoon...occasional we're able to stay up 'til 9 pm. We've had only three trips to doctors this week.

He's had 16 days without treatment but is still very weak...he has fallen four times this week. We will resume treatment on Monday...that takes most of our mornings...and after a few radiation treatments he will most likely be back on some kind of pain Rx. ..then he will sleep more. He's been out of the hospital for 10 days and I see him improving some every day...his voice is less gravely, his mouth is healing so he talks more, his lips are no longer dry and cracked, he smiles at me some, and even winks :)

Fourteen more Radiation treatments ...he will be back where he was maybe...but he must continue to have any hope of overcoming this cancer.

Ephesians 3:20...."God is able to do immeasurably more than all you could ask for or imagine."


Has anyone else ever tried to grow an avocado bush (tree) from a seed? I seem to remember doing it years ago...first roots, then a green sprout trying to get out at the top...or maybe that was a sweet potato :) we'll see.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Today is yours and mine..

Our cup is full, we've found our way..
The fruit is on the vine.
Tomorrow remains another day
But today is yours and mine."

Monday, July 20, 2009

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

"Life hands us much that is chaotic along the trail,
Then suddenly the glimmer of a jewel
And we unvail
The closeness of a friend."

Yesterday the Lord blessed us with a visit from four of our "church friends"...(and much more). Jim Lewis, our former pastor came and brought with him his guitar-playing friend, Van Sharp, to entertain us !!! Chris and Joe Santee, our "care group leaders" were here also...we had a lovely time and Bob enjoyed it very much. Except for JoAnn and Paul, lifelong friends, he has not been willing to see anyone except family since he was diagnosed :(
but he is now ready to see his friends as he is able...PTL

Joe is a retired pilot with Delta Airlines...he also flew in Viet Nam. Chris is a wonderfuly gifted speaker, bible teacher, mentor, hostess for many church related events..their home is always open to ones who are in need of a place to stay, both temporary and long-term...truly two people whose life's are lived out reflecting the love of Jesus and his teaching.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Still our sweet daddy, husband and friend


One Day At A Time

Shall I write about it...or just put it behind me...perhaps sharing will help accomplish that....
Four miserable days in the hospital...four days of uncertainty...four days of waiting for something else to happen...anything else...three days of looking into his eyes and he's not there....overpowered by something out of control...invited in by withdrawing from the drugs that had helped him get through the last month...but too much vicadin...too much finally overpowered all was start over again with something different later.. In movies and on TV you can see what drug addicts experience when watch your sweet, loving soul mate suffer through that is heartbreaking...the hallucinations, anxiety, fidgeting, tremors, confusion, fear, three days of insomnia, his arms and hands sometimes reaching out to nothing that we could see...thank God my children were with me! ..and thank God he does not remember.

We are home now...the place he begged and sometimes fought to get to..he would climb out of his bed before we could get to him and when asked where he was going replied "I'm going home"...when told that he could not go home right now, he was too sick, or it was too hot outside, or we had to wait for the doctor..or whatever we could come up with, he sometimes would struggle with us for a moment, until he was too weak to do anything but fall back into bed. Other times he would just be very meek and compliant...fondling the sleeve of my blouse, or whatever he could grasp in his hand at the time...he got little sleep until early in the third day...and then...they needed to do an MRI and because he was unable to remain still he was given Ativan...a drug used to treat anxiety, bring about worked in reverse on another half day of this getting through his system.

On Tuesday (his blood pressure was normal, blood sugar had returned to an acceptable level, his sodium level was down near where it should be, and his oxygen level normal again) I asked the Dr. if it would be safe to take him home. He consented...saying that there was nothing more they could do for him at the hospital that could not be done at home. He is receiving an antibiotic for the bronical infection he has, breathing treatments twice a day, blood sugar tested twice a day, and except for Tylenol PM he is on no pain med... except for the tenderness in his mouth and inability to swallow he is comfortable, as he has had no radiation treatments for nine days,...and gaining strength every day.

Therein lies a different challenge...he wants his life back like it was, or not at all...he is considering not continuing treatments. He lacks 14 radium treatments and 3 chemo to complete the scheduled plan. The doctor has said that without it he would die...but, also, even with it he could die...God knows what is happening, He knows what lies ahead, He knows what decision is best...please God, open Bobs heart to receive your direction as to what is the right is in Your hands.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

This is What I Believe

I chose to delete my post in response to an anonymous comment. After contemplating on the George Bernard Shaw quote I realized that it did not express my belief in regard to the best way to use this life that God has given me. I agree that we should strive to live life to the fullest...however, it's we fill our life that is most important... What Christianity has taught me, what meditating on the life of Christ has taught me, what the actual results of loving others has taught me is .. serving others reaps tremendous rewards...rewards of contentment, fulfillment, peace and returned love. And when Christ enters a heart it's effortless.

"The harder I work, the more I love"...I do not understand this statement..hard work can and does sometimes results in things this world views as "success" financial security, ego fulfillment, etc...and this is not a bad thing...but unless the "work" is directed toward serving others it does not result in love...
loving begets love.
This is what I believe.

However, I certainly appreciated the last part of the comment:
"No matter the outcome, the previous days leading to life's decision, were mighty ones. Every one. No matter how mundane to the rest of the world, they were infinitely special to you - and all who know and love him - and that is what matters most."

Friday, July 3, 2009

A Friend

"When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, would stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares."

Henri Nouwen
Out of Solitude

Thursday, July 2, 2009

takin' things easy

Bobby had five other kids to play with in the pool today...but they wouldn't stay still long enough to get in the picture...

Home, Family, Friendship

Having a place to go is
Having someone to love is
Sharing goodtimes with those who care is
Having them all is a