Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm mad as hell !!##!*!!

Cancer cannot cripple love...shatter hope...corrode faith...kill friendship...suppress memories...invade the soul...steal eternal life...

I'm mad as hell...
Chemotherapy and radiation ravage the body...robbing it of all familiar and treasured things.. the smile gone from his face is replaced with a furrowed brow...his eyes opened only occasionally, and then just wide enough to observe cloudiness and pain...his evening snoring has now become quiet moaning or mutterings...interrupted by choking because he's unable to swallow..
I'm mad as hell!!

The hours he loved to spend just sitting, studying the Bible.. contemplating with a free mind directed toward God...his heart filled with thanksgiving to Him for all that He has blessed us with...now his days and nights are spent lying in bed, striving to escape from his present condition through drug-induced sleep.
I'm mad as hell...

His treatments have robbed him of so much...
He can no longer drive, take his walks, swallow, talk without discomfort..(so he doesn't talk)...... He can no longer view his favorite Fox Cable News, Bill O'Riley, Texas Longhorn sports events...attend church on Sundays...share time with his buddies at PBC on Saturday morning prayer times and Monday evening bible study...attend the monthly Care Group meetings with our Christian friends, sharing a meal and just spending time learning to love each other....
I'm mad as hell!!!

We no longer drive over to Braums for a dip of chocolate chip ice cream, or go to Del's for a mushroom burger and home-made root beer,or enjoy a nice lunch at LaMadalines', or meet up with our boys and their kids at Keller's Drive In for a Sunday night burger and Corona...or take in an occasionally movie...the man who always attempted a conversation with whomever he came in contact with..who "could talk to anybody", now wants to talk to nobody..
I'm mad as hell!!

It was a simple life...but it was OUR life..
All this..and maybe
it will destroy the cancer...no guarentees though...
I'm mad as hell !!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Our little apartment has been full of family this weekend..My brother Nick, sister-in-law, Anna and their granddaughter, Katy...from Houston for the weekend...my "local' children and assorted grand & greatgrand children..My niece, Christine with her hubby, Mark...and Barbara has been here since Wednesday...she's such a blessing. This house is going to feel real empty this coming week.

My sweet, silly, funny, entertaining, younger brother Nick, here from Houston, wore his Alabama shirt in honor of our "Al." daughter, Barb...but put his Texas shirt on over it whenever our "Texas Ex" son, Eddie, was around :)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Peete boys' summer vacation

Eddie and the boys returned home from their trip to Omaha (to watch Texas advance in the playoffs in the College World Series) and then on to South Dakota and their visit to Mt Rushmore. He captured some beautiful pictures with his new camera.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Gods' Grace Is Sufficient

I recently received this bit of encouragement from a friend who is a cancer survivor...he said "For me the real peace came during one of my prayer times when it came to me that God had already cured me of the only "disease" that could have an eternal impact."
I believe this with all my heart...and I'm grateful for what He has already done for Bob and me...first He loved us, then He died for us...He gave me a loving, faithful, devoted and supportive husband....and Bob has had near 80 years of a blessed life...but, I want more. Is this wrong? I want him to be a "cancer survivor".

Friday, June 19, 2009

Three Cheers for the weekend.......

No chemo, no radiation, no watching him struggle through the pain and weakness of his body as he dresses to make the trip to the hospital, receive the dreadful but necessary treatments to try and rid his body of cancer, and later, having to see his lips and body tremble as he struggles to contain some composure as he settles back into bed for a drugged sleep. Yes, thank God for Saturday and Sunday...no treatments.

Thanks to his new way to eat...through a tube in his stomach...he received nourishment today..I can also administer his liquid vicodin that way...no more trying to swallow and no more choking. Two full days of nourishment, hydration and rest...Yes, thank God for Saturday and Sunday.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love,
shatter hope
corrode faith
destroy peace (unable to agree with this one...I am not at peace)
kill friendship
suppress memories
silence courage
invade the soul
steal eternal life

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

my life, my love

From the moment I saw you, I wanted to meet you,

From the moment I met you, I wanted to know you,

From the moment I knew you, I was in love with you,

From the moment I loved you, I wanted to share my life with you,

And from that moment to this moment, and for all the moments to come, I will love you with all my heart.

All Because Two People Fell In Love

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we sometimes forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher