Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Death can...Death Cannot

Death can seperate our bodies...but it can not seperate our spirits......WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN...it may be in spirit only.....     but I'll settle for that.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

We have plans

I'm feeling refreshed after a good nights sleep..hope it will hold out over the weekend.

    Tonight: a painting class with Barb and LL  http://myspiritedart.com/
         Tomorrow: church,  http://www.jwbc.org/
            followed by  lunch at the Red Lobster with Barb, Peggy and Beth http://www.redlobster.com/
           followed by   a Christmas play  at the  Burritt  Museum
                   http://www.burrittonthemountain.com/
           followed by   our sunday school class Christmas dinner  party
  

    Monday:

Friday, December 17, 2010

Caramia's first Christmas

As she is only eleven months old and hasn't a clue about what will be happening all around the world on the morning of Dec. 25. she received my gift to her early...her first baby doll and stroller..






Thursday, December 16, 2010

Praising God in the Valley

I have not been praising God through this valley I've been traveling through...my sorrow and grief has trapped me.....it has blinded me for a while..I am now able to cry out to God...and he hears me...God sends His love... even when His children are not faithful....HE is faithful. It may be that I will remain in this valley until I am reunited with my beloved,  but He sustains me......and I anxiously await that day.
.
Jesus, Lover of my soul
Let me to Thy bosom fly
While the nearer waters roll,
While the tempest still is high
Hide me, O my Saviour, hide
Till the storm of life is past.

John Wesley

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I'll have a blue Christmas without you,
I'll be so blue thinking about you,
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
 won't mean a thing dear if you're not here with me.

I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain,
And when those blue heartaches start hurtin
You'll be doin' alright with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas






Monday, December 13, 2010

Chattanooga weekend

Barbara's Christmas trip for her family this year was to Chattanooga where we stayed at the Chattanooga Choo Choo Hotel ...it included a ride to the North Pole on the Polor Express train, a visit on the train from  Santa  himself, his helpers who served us gingerbread cookies, chocolate milk and music!!! After the ride we enjoyed great pizza at Lupi's on Market St. downtown Chattanooga...I highly recommend it.  .At 10 pm Santa's Elves visited  the childrens rooms where they told them a story, gave them a gift and tucked them into bed. We had breakfast Sunday morning at the hotel ...a delicious buffet.  Then, as the weather was worsening...very cold, freezing snow flurrys, etc. we headed for home ....a two hour drive from Huntsville. Thank you, Barbara.








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Monday, December 6, 2010

The Christmas Letter

This is the time of year when we like to share with friends who, perhaps, live far away or, at least, not close enough to have shared the years events as they occurred. I always enjoy receiving "Christmas Letters"...noticing  what kind of paper is used, how each one is laid out, the attitudes expressed by the writer, etc....not to mention hearing  what has occurred in the life of each friend. As a rule the information  is shared in the order of occurrence...i.e. Jan. thru Dec...

I don't think I've ever written one..and this year will be no exception..
   primarily because the events in my life were of such magnitude that anyone who knows me has already been informed

Besides; who wants to hear that in January and February, Bob, who had already suffered much in 2009, began to slip away from us?.

Who wants to hear that in Jan. and Feb. his weakened, 80 year old body had pneumonia twice and was in the hospital at lease three  times..

Who wants to hear of our anxiety over getting him home ...our emphasis had switched from doing everything in our power to keep him alive to just getting him home and keeping him as comfortable as possible .....we did not want him to die in a hospital .The previous 10 months he had spent so much time in one that he came to really resent being there..we wanted him home! God granted us that.

Who wants to hear that the first two weeks in March he lay unable to hear, speak, move...

Who wants to hear that a week before he died his condition had became so critical that Hospice told us to stop feeding him because his normal body functions were shutting down and it could possibly cause him to vomit and choke to death and it would also only prolong his suffering? Who, in their right mind, wants to hear that!

And what about my "attitude"?

This is where I should talk about how good our  God is...how His love is enough to fill the void in my life...to sustain me through my grief...to give me peace.....  I never expected us to escape death...of course  it is inevitable...and as His word tells us "time and chance happens to us all."..so there  was no great surprise experienced when he was diagnosed with cancer...well, I guess there was some...He had been so diligent with taking  care of himself...exercising, eating right, had never been sick except for an occasional cold, while I, on the other hand was not nearly as self-disciplined and my body is paying the price...I expected that I would be the first to go.
 This is where I should exhibit a good example of what being a Christian means...I know in my heart that He is there for me...but my every thought is of my loss..my every  moment alone is  with Bob..I don't want to "get on with life" if it means leaving him behind..he's been with me always.
I do have much to be grateful for and I'm thankful for that...
..... perhaps peace will come at a later date...I'm not there yet..

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Thanksgiving with my "Texas family"

Brian, Joey, Bobby, Jacob, Eddie and Jack








Laura Beth and Jack



Eddie



Happy 16th. Brian

 Laura and I



SaRita and David



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Bob

Watch this video again with this in mind, In almost every picture where he is with someone else, he is touching, arms around, holding hands, etc...he gave so much of himself.....he loved us all. Look into his eyes... his goodness and honesty shown through... soooo honest, almost to a fault...he did not hold back...LORD, HOW I MISS HIM..

Today I can watch this and smile..last night I could only weep...my moods are as a seewaw...up and down, back and forth..


Me

Bewildered, dumbfounded, puzzled, discontented.....weary ....that is me.

  It's 3 am...is this the reason for the mess that I'm in.?  insomnia certainly contributes to it.....I do feel almost human at times... when rested...but those times are too infrequent for my liking.
And what about Thanksgiving...giving thanks! Why is it so hard to do when I have much to be thankful for?  I was blessed to be able to spend time with my children in Texas... that I've not seen since June...and our life-long friends there.  And my family here...supportive and  loving.... why is that not enough to overcome  the emptiness I feel in my heart...in my life? I know "things could be worse" and I truly want to stop feeling so sorry for myself...being such a drag ...but I can't keep him out...and I don't want to keep him out. I need him...Okay, I'm just gonna lay it all out ... this sorrow  is over whelming at times...and this is one of those times.

Monday, November 29, 2010

''To aII the ships at sea and aII the ports of caII.To my famiIy and to aII friends and strangers. ''

my message for him...



this is not goodby...l  will never say goodby ...

"Thanks for the times that you've given me
   the memories are all in my mind.
And now that we've come to the end of our rainbow
  there's something that I must say,

You shared my dreams, my joys, my pain
   you made my life worth living.
And if I had my life to  live over again
  I'd spend each and every moment with you.

When we were together
    the moments I treasure with every beat of my heart.
To touch you, to hold you, to feel you, to know you"

     only death could keep us apart
  
from "Three Times A Lady" written by Lionel Richie

Helloooo



insomnia (ɪnˈsɒmnɪə)
chronic inability to fall asleep or to enjoy uninterrupted sleep
Related: agrypnotic


It's exactly 2:42 am...I've been awake since 12:30 am...went to bed around 9 pm....







I'm sure the coffee and m&m's that I'm indulging myself with isn't helping, but hey !!!  if I can't enjoy some much needed rest I may as well enjoy the awake time...that's my theory anyway...

I spent most of the day unpacking and displaying the Christmas  decorations in my home...candles, lights, santas, angels, yule trees...red, green, gold, white, ...lovely reminders of the season.

 Historically, Christmas commemorates the birth of Jesus of Nazareth to a young maiden from Galilee.

 Theologically, Christmas is the celebration of the incarnation of God in Jesus the Christ, the self-revelation of God to the world in human form for the reconciliation of humanity to Himself. All the details of the various accounts concerning Jesus’ birth revolve around that central truth.

My faith lies in the theological version...  

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Bobby and Brian

Enjoying a slow-paced, quiet morning with two of my best buddies...watching TV


Jack watch us..watching TV



Friday, November 19, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

Forever In Our Hearts

A million times we needed you, a million times we cried,
If love alone could save you, you never  would have died.
In life we loved you dearly, in death we love you still,
In our hearts you hold a place that no one can ever fill.

A light from our household is gone, a voice from our life is stilled,
A place in our  home is vacant, which never can be filled.
Some may think you are forgotten, though on earth you are no more,
But in our memory you are with us, as you always were before.

It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone,
A part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
Your precious memories are for keepsakes, with which we'll never part,
God has you safely in his keeping,
... we have you forever in our hearts









you and me, babe.... I'll never let you go.........




Herk


Laura



Eddie



Barbara
Nicki



Brian



Bobby  playing the thumping game




da boys