Bewildered, dumbfounded, puzzled, discontented.....weary ....that is me.
It's 3 am...is this the reason for the mess that I'm in.? insomnia certainly contributes to it.....I do feel almost human at times... when rested...but those times are too infrequent for my liking.
And what about Thanksgiving...giving thanks! Why is it so hard to do when I have much to be thankful for? I was blessed to be able to spend time with my children in Texas... that I've not seen since June...and our life-long friends there. And my family here...supportive and loving.... why is that not enough to overcome the emptiness I feel in my heart...in my life? I know "things could be worse" and I truly want to stop feeling so sorry for myself...being such a drag ...but I can't keep him out...and I don't want to keep him out. I need him...Okay, I'm just gonna lay it all out ... this sorrow is over whelming at times...and this is one of those times.