Barbara got a Wii for Christmas

a few of my favorite things

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God's Christmas Present to us today

the reason for the season

Death can...Death Cannot

Death can seperate our bodies...but it can not seperate our spirits......WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN...it may be in spirit only.....     but I'll settle for that.

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. 2(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) 3And all went to be taxed,

We have plans

I'm feeling refreshed after a good nights sleep..hope it will hold out over the weekend.

    Tonight: a painting class with Barb and LL  http://myspiritedart.com/
         Tomorrow: church,  http://www.jwbc.org/
            followed by  lunch at the Red Lobster with Barb, Peggy and Beth http://www.redlobster.com/
           followed by   a Christmas play  at the  Burritt  Museum
                   http://www.burrittonthemountain.com/
           followed by   our sunday school class Christmas dinner  party
  

    Monday:

Caramia's first Christmas

As she is only eleven months old and hasn't a clue about what will be happening all around the world on the morning of Dec. 25. she received my gift to her early...her first baby doll and stroller..

Praising God in the Valley

I have not been praising God through this valley I've been traveling through...my sorrow and grief has trapped me.....it has blinded me for a while..I am now able to cry out to God...and he hears me...God sends His love... even when His children are not faithful....HE is faithful. It may be that I will remain in this valley until I am reunited with my beloved,  but He sustains me......and I anxiously await that day.
.
Jesus, Lover of my soul
Let me to Thy bosom fly
While the nearer waters roll,
While the tempest still is high
Hide me, O my Saviour, hide
Till the storm of life is past.

John Wesley

I'll have a blue Christmas without you,
I'll be so blue thinking about you,
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
 won't mean a thing dear if you're not here with me.

I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain,
And when those blue heartaches start hurtin
You'll be doin' alright with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas

Chattanooga weekend

Barbara's Christmas trip for her family this year was to Chattanooga where we stayed at the Chattanooga Choo Choo Hotel ...it included a ride to the North Pole on the Polor Express train, a visit on the train from  Santa  himself, his helpers who served us gingerbread cookies, chocolate milk and music!!! After the ride we enjoyed great pizza at Lupi's on Market St. downtown Chattanooga...I highly recommend it.  .At 10 pm Santa's Elves visited  the childrens rooms where they told them a story, gave them a gift and tucked them into bed. We had breakfast Sunday morning at the hotel ...a delicious buffet.  Then, as the weather was worsening...very cold, freezing snow flurrys, etc. we headed for home ....a two hour drive from Huntsville. Thank you, Barbara.

http://www.choochoo.com/

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Callaway Gardens, Cecil B. Day Butterfly Garden, Sibley Horticulture Ctr, and FDR's Little White House

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The Christmas Letter

This is the time of year when we like to share with friends who, perhaps, live far away or, at least, not close enough to have shared the years events as they occurred. I always enjoy receiving "Christmas Letters"...noticing  what kind of paper is used, how each one is laid out, the attitudes expressed by the writer, etc....not to mention hearing  what has occurred in the life of each friend. As a rule the information  is shared in the order of occurrence...i.e. Jan. thru Dec...

I don't think I've ever written one..and this year will be no exception..
   primarily because the events in my life were of such magnitude that anyone who knows me has already been informed

Besides; who wants to hear that in January and February, Bob, who had already suffered much in 2009, began to slip away from us?.

Who wants to hear that in Jan. and Feb. his weakened, 80 year old body had pneumonia twice and was in the hospital at lease three  times..

Who wants to hear of our anxiety over getting him home ...our emphasis had switched from doing everything in our power to keep him alive to just getting him home and keeping him as comfortable as possible .....we did not want him to die in a hospital .The previous 10 months he had spent so much time in one that he came to really resent being there..we wanted him home! God granted us that.

Who wants to hear that the first two weeks in March he lay unable to hear, speak, move...

Who wants to hear that a week before he died his condition had became so critical that Hospice told us to stop feeding him because his normal body functions were shutting down and it could possibly cause him to vomit and choke to death and it would also only prolong his suffering? Who, in their right mind, wants to hear that!

And what about my "attitude"?

This is where I should talk about how good our  God is...how His love is enough to fill the void in my life...to sustain me through my grief...to give me peace.....  I never expected us to escape death...of course  it is inevitable...and as His word tells us "time and chance happens to us all."..so there  was no great surprise experienced when he was diagnosed with cancer...well, I guess there was some...He had been so diligent with taking  care of himself...exercising, eating right, had never been sick except for an occasional cold, while I, on the other hand was not nearly as self-disciplined and my body is paying the price...I expected that I would be the first to go.
 This is where I should exhibit a good example of what being a Christian means...I know in my heart that He is there for me...but my every thought is of my loss..my every  moment alone is  with Bob..I don't want to "get on with life" if it means leaving him behind..he's been with me always.
I do have much to be grateful for and I'm thankful for that...
..... perhaps peace will come at a later date...I'm not there yet..

Thanksgiving with my "Texas family"

Brian, Joey, Bobby, Jacob, Eddie and Jack

Laura Beth and Jack

Eddie

Happy 16th. Brian

 Laura and I

SaRita and David

Bob

Watch this video again with this in mind, In almost every picture where he is with someone else, he is touching, arms around, holding hands, etc...he gave so much of himself.....he loved us all. Look into his eyes... his goodness and honesty shown through... soooo honest, almost to a fault...he did not hold back...LORD, HOW I MISS HIM..

Today I can watch this and smile..last night I could only weep...my moods are as a seewaw...up and down, back and forth..

Me

Bewildered, dumbfounded, puzzled, discontented.....weary ....that is me.

  It's 3 am...is this the reason for the mess that I'm in.?  insomnia certainly contributes to it.....I do feel almost human at times... when rested...but those times are too infrequent for my liking.
And what about Thanksgiving...giving thanks! Why is it so hard to do when I have much to be thankful for?  I was blessed to be able to spend time with my children in Texas... that I've not seen since June...and our life-long friends there.  And my family here...supportive and  loving.... why is that not enough to overcome  the emptiness I feel in my heart...in my life? I know "things could be worse" and I truly want to stop feeling so sorry for myself...being such a drag ...but I can't keep him out...and I don't want to keep him out. I need him...Okay, I'm just gonna lay it all out ... this sorrow  is over whelming at times...and this is one of those times.