Letter # 41

Jan. 7, 1952
"Hello Kitten,
   Disgusted with me?  I can't blame you since I'm disgusted with myself. I've been so lax in not only my correspondence but everything in general.  We, the cadr'e personel of the Stockade, are being worked until all hours of the night.  I personally had to work Christmas and New Years eve. Reason; a prisoner, or rather 2 prisoners escaped by climbing the wall.  Consequently the major declared that we would guard the wall by walking it in four hour shifts.
   Question, have you received  the ring ?  I sent it by a friend who was supposed to either deliver it in person or mail it from New York. Actually, I was in doubt as to whether you'd accept it or nay, as it resembles an engagement ring."

(#1, I never received the ring...some friend he had!   # 2, I don't understand why he would doubt my accepting an engagement ring from him...all we had talked about since April was being together.)

"Since we're discussing presents, I'm in doubt about your birthdate.  It's Jan. 10th. isn't it?  I'm not going to ask you what you'd like because that would be futile.  You'd never tell me.
   Oh! In case you haven't noticed I've purchased a pen, a Parker 21. It's green.  For some reason I like the color green.  Wonder why.  As you can see though, even a new pen can't improve my penmanship.
   It has been snowing for the past three days and the ground still isn't covered.  The snow comes down in cycles of 30 minutes.  It's beautiful but I dead the melting.  Slop and goo, ugh!
   Everyone at home has written me several times lately, wondering why I don't write.  If you see any of them could you and would you please explain that I'm working and seldom have the leisure time in which to write.
   Charlene, it's useless for me to attempt to tell you how much I miss you.  Words fail me since my vocabulary isn't any citerion by which to judge my feelings for you.  In a simple phrase it means this.  I find it impossible to tell you just how much I really love you.  I know that I don't prove it by my actions but you can believe this,  I love you with all my being.  If you're still there when I return I'll prove it, honest.  It seems I always end up saying the same things.  Since they sound so corny to me, they must really be boresome for you to read.  Nevertheless, everything I've written is true and I'm very sincere about it.
   Before I go any further, answer one question, "Is you is, or is you ain't my babyl."  I'm a wee bit in doubt since I haven't been answering your letters.

  All my love,
  Forever, Bob"

Byars Hall HS decade of the 50's

Covington, Tn.
Sept. 24 & 25

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Questions

I shamelessly copied the following from another blog
http://heatherpaiges.blogspot.com
I thoroughly enjoyed reading her ...she is an accomplished and interesting writer and this particular post spoke to me in a big way...
I'm trying to cut through the surface of me and consider my motivations.
..it's not much fun.


"Is it wanting nice clothes or is it wanting popularity and acceptance? Is it wanting popularity or is it wanting self-confidence? Is it wanting confidence or is it needing faith?

Is it wanting a car or is it wanting independence and control? Is it wanting independence or is it wanting to depend on something constant?

Is it wanting to be attractive or is it wanting a boy or girlfriend? Is it wanting a bf or gf or is it wanting attention? Is it wanting attention or is it wanting to feel worthy?

Is it working to be good at a skill or is it wanting recognition? Is it wanting recognition or is it building an identity?

Is it really about drugs and alcohol or is it about escape? Is it wanting to escape or is it searching for peace?

Is it wanting stuff or is it wanting satisfaction? Is it wanting satisfaction or is it longing for joy?

Put your faith in God because He is constant. You are worthy in his eyes and if you put your identity in Christ, you will be filled with peace and joy."

my best friend

"Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

The tendency to desire what is best for the other
Sympathy and empathy
Honesty
Mutual understanding and compassion
Trust in one another
Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties "
 

my best friend

Regardless of how much you love one another, regardless of what a "good" person your friend is, in spite of the fact that he fulfilled all of the qualities of a true friend as  mentioned above...there are things... little things that sometimes become so repetitive.... so routine....so "expected"...that they can create  a little bit of annoyance. I know Bob exhibited some of these but for the life of me I'm able to recall only one...his obsession over politics and his habit of adamantly expressing his view of same...

Now, that's a small thing in the grand scheme of life...this is not what I remember,,,,think about daily...moment by moment.  What occupies my mind and fills my heart with gratitude are not only the "big" things but the many "small" acts of kindness and demonstrations of love that he showered on me...and our children...those are the things that stay in the forefront of my mind...that come and go throughout the day...every day...

If you lose a best friend, the good things are what you will remember...so when you become annoyed over small things....think of what makes them your best friend...treasure all that you share together and be grateful. 

I love you, my darling, and miss you so very much.

Pictures can tell it all...

Nov. 2, 2010..take back America

Why I Believe

Creation

Good Morning all...

had my coffee on the back porch around half past five this morning...I was out there early enough to see two young deer walk out of the woods and go across the back yard down by the creek and into the wooded area on the other side of Barb and Dave's property....'didn't have my camera handy but took pictures a few moments later..

the story of my life...so to speak

letter # 40

Dec. 12, 1951

Hi Kitten,
   I've just gotten out of bed after 15 wonderful hours of sleep.  It was the first night in over a month that I've slept more than 6 hours.  Since I've changed positions my working day averages 15 hours.  After bathing, shaving and what have you, that leaves little or no time in which to sleep.  You can see why my letters are so irregular.
   A friend of mine, my former room-mate has left for the states.  Don't be surprised if you see a handsome young Italian standing on your front porch some morning.  He's another Rudolph Valentino, so beware.  He's also bearing a gift from me to you.  If he doesn't deliver it in person he'll mail it so that it will arrive by Christmas.  I only hope you'll accept it, as it's slightly suggestive.  The gift expresses only slightly what I feel for you.
   (the handsome Italian never showed up or mailed the ring...some friend he was!)
    I think I'll take in a movie tonight.  Care to go along? Might be fun.  After the show we'll go to some secluded cafe here in the walled city and talk over old times.  It won't be elaborate but I promise it shan't be boring either.  Speaking of boresome evenings, remember the night my tire went flat in front of your house. To top this off it rained all night, the movie was boring, etc.  It could have been very dull if you hadn't been so generous.  Remember when I kissed you and I said "Charlene, you can beat that", and your snappy repartee was, and I quote, "I didn't kiss you Bob, you kissed me."  Then you gave me a few lessons on the how, when, where and why of the kiss.  T'was wonderful.  I'd like to put in my application for an extended and advanced course to last indefinitely, under your tutorship.  Do you think it could be arranged? I'll try to master the fundamentals and technique and become your best pupil.
(is that not the cutest guy in the world?)

   I must quit for a few minutes because I definitely must shave before chow.  See you again in a few...
(upon reading this Barbara remarked "he probably had to go take a cold shower!)  :)

   Hello again. That few minutes lasted exactly 21 hours, a movie and a trip to the American Club.  The picture was nothing short of great. I'm probably prejudiced though, the leading males name was "Pete".You've seen the movie, I'm sure.  It was "Force Of Arms" starring William Holden and Nancy Olsen.  She's a blond, kinda cute, like you. Somehow though, she just doesn't come up to par with Miss Stallings.
   Speaking of feminine pulchritude, you should see Hump's new girl friend.  A combination Lana Turner and Bettye Grable. She's tall and, unlike most German women, has pleanty of money.  Not that Hump would allow money to influence him, yuk, yuk.
  It''s almost 12, I'd better get to bed if I intend to work tomorrow. So goodnight, darling, sweet dreams and sleep tite.
    click ---goodnight
I love you, Charlene
Bob

PS. Believe it or not, I'm going to write more often.  This is the first letter I've written in weeks.
      I'd give anything if we could spend Christmas together.

something is askew

and it's my blog templete...I now have two on the same blog...did you notice? When my blog opens there's this yukie mustard color templete that appears for a few seconds...then the latest one that I've been using shows up...but the color of the title text is white ? and meshes right in with the background...oh, well...I guess there are worse things...

School Day's,

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later today

It's been a very nice morning, compared to the way it started... back around 2 or 3 am...
I went back to sleep around 4 am and slept 'til 7:30. I walked across the yard to Barb's and David's and had some coffee and toast with them. I then worked in the yard  until noon...watering, pulling weeds, planting some mums that I had purchased a couple of days ago...I sat in my swing and had iced coffee...I stayed busy, and out of the house...it's lovely today..don't know what the temp is but I have my doors and windows open and I put my birds out on the back porch table and shaded the top of their cage.
After I  get cleaned up I want to go to Hobby Lobby (for some knitting yarn...Barb and I have started making neck scarves for Christmas)..Pet Smart, for another fish, maybe Lowe's or WalMart for some pine bark to put around my flower beds...not sure if I'll manage to accomplish all of that.

I did not go to aquacise class today...only once in the last two weeks..it's at 8:30 am, downtown Huntsville...and most mornings I just don't want to get up and out in the traffic that early.  It's not that I'm not up...I just want to stay home...lack of motivation I guess ...or perhaps something else...what's that scripture where Paul writes about that.?..1 Corinthians 9:8-10 "For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do."..  I know the things that I should do but I don't do them, and I know the things that I shouldn't do, and do them anyway!!!! That's me alright..and I'm not proud of it..

What color would you like?...anyone?...we are using very large needles..size 32!..so it's a loose weave and we can make one in about 3-4 hours... how would I ever survive without my camera and computer?

Five Months

It was three am that Tuesday morning, April 13th. As was my custom I had rolled the hospital bed over beside the couch where I laid in  the evenings...sometimes drifting off to sleep for a while. I just wanted to be  where I could touch him, hear him breathe...He had not opened his eyes or spoken for over a week ?? . His breathing pattern had changed that night...short, deep gasp-like...growing further and further apart. As I wept, begging God to take him, please don't leave him like this any longer... he took his last breath. Nicki heard me and came into the room..."he's gone,honey"  I said...she called Barbara.... Barbara called our hospice nurse ..they took him away.
Will there ever be a time when I no longer dwell on this?

nothin' much

girl with a bow

The Bridge

The back porch

the "office"

I finally got it un-cluttered ?? at least, the floor is uncluttered :)

Two of My Favorite Little Girls

Lincoln County, Tennessee

Barbara and I took a long, afternoon drive today...we went by the cemetery and continued through the country to Fayetteville ... and beyond .When returning from another trip last month she had noticed a place that sold garden bridges, etc. . After calling the phone number that was posted there she decided to go back by and check it out. She purchased the one in the picture... to be placed across a ditch between our two backyards...and she is considering buying the gazebo to hang her wooden swing in. We then stopped by a country store...I don't believe they were Amish or Mennonite but they sold homemade fresh breads, candies, fruits, nuts, jellies and jams... sandwiches, fried pies, etc. We had a late lunch and then stopped by WalMart in Fayetteville on our way back.

Last night we saw George Clooneys new movie, The American...I have to give it a 2...my recommendation is "don't waste your money"...

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Swim, Eat, Play

Sunday am started off pretty rough for me...but ended up nice..LL and Jason had their last swim party ...lots of mild sunshine and plenty of good food. 
Then Barb, Judy Posey and I went to a movie...bad...bad...bad...."The American"...I'm dispointed in you George Cloony....it started off with a bang then slowed down to a   c  r  a  w  l .

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Letter # 33

Nurnberg, Germany
10 October 1951

"Darling,
   I am honestly ashamed of myself.  I've just finished reading your most recent letter and please believe me, I did not realize that I had been neglecting you so.  I've realized for quite some time that I haven't been writing as often as I should, not only to you, but everyone.  You're the last person in the world that I would hurt, intentionally or otherwise.  Please believe me when I say that I'm sorry.  Your love is all that matters to me in this thing we call life.  Without you there's nothing for me As you stated in your letter, it takes something like this to make a person  realize how much they love someone. The only thing that has kept me from writing is that we were working so late for a while. The pressure has let up some this last week and while we're enjoying the respite I intend to catch up on back correspondence.
  Hump is back here at the stockade now as a disciplinary guard.  He's really anxious to get back home too.  It seems as though he doesn't care for this army life any more than I do.
   You were discussing the night we went to Riverside Park and the Belmont.  You asked if I remembered.  Every day, every night, every hour that we were together are embedded in my mind.  One doesn't forget the happiest moments of their life. I can't remember the exact moment I realized that you were the love of my life. I suppose it dawned on me the night we were sitting in front of your house and you said that you loved me. I wanted to tell you how I felt but couldn't because of the past.  Now I know there was never a past.  My life began when I met you
   Kitten, I'll close for tonight and if this letter does nothing but prove that I love you I'll consider it a success.

Sweet dreams darling,
I love you.
Bob

P.S.  Are you still angry? Don't be please.
PPS. Tell Molly thanks for offering the reassurance.
PPPS. My what naughty language you use!

He would be dissapointed in me

It's Sunday morning and I did not go to church...again...just don't want to be around anybody...especially a crowd..can't shake this depression...damn pills just make my stomach hurt and cause weight gain...have a follow-up with my doctor this month...maybe we can try something different...again. 'Been like this since returning from my visit to Covington last Monday...not sure how I'll handle the reunion later this month ..It's ok until I return home. Sometimes I really don't want to see any of those who I went to school with...I don't know any of them...I knew them then but that was over 50 years ago..I do not know them now and they do not know me.  Barbara moved all of her appointments on that Friday and Saturday in order to go with me...I have to go.
I just want to be with you, Bob...I miss you so much darling...no one really knows the depth of my sorrow...you are in my thoughts constantly...occasionally it makes me smile, mostly it makes me cry. I saw some of the Texas/Rice game yesterday...it hurt...how many football games have we watched together...how many....  I watch movies to try and think of something else...how many movies have we watched together...how many...  I'm so lonely....how many times did we just sit together, holding hands...how many......how many times in our life together did we make love to each other?...how many..  You have been part of me my entire life...the 16 years that I lived before we met do not count for anything...those years were lonely, empty, needy...then you came into my life and changed it all...I began to live...you gave me your love, you gave me your children, you gave me a home, you gave me safety, you were devoted, faithful, encouraging....an honorable man......to say that it is so hard to live without you  is such an understatement....do you know? I hope that you do not...I want you to be at peace and just waiting for me to join you.....that's probably not the way its going to be, but I can hope.  I cannot bare to think that we will never know each other again. After giving us the life that we had together  that would be so unkind of God to do that.

52 DEGREES THIS AM :)

Early this am two red fox playing in the back yard...
made coffee...fed fish...fed birds
now what?


If he were here with me he'd be watching football news ..or  Fox News

then maybe we'd go out for a late breakfast to IHOP,

 where we would share a Country Omlet

 and blintzes with apples

then he would read

then he would watch football with his boys

 I'm gonna miss football season in Texas

Trinity In The Fields

Trinity In The Fields, or "Old Trinity" as it is also called, is an Episcopal Church located in Tipton County on the Charleston/Mason Rd. off hwy.70, four miles east of Mason, Tn.    Built in 1847 by slaves to replace St. Andrew's, which had burned in 1845, the church with it's 20 x 40 foot sanctuary was named "Trinity Episcopal."   In 1977 it was placed on the National Register of Historical Places. Some of Bob's ancestors are buried there....his great grandparents, Edwin Robert Peete and wife, Jane Eleanor Taylor and their children, one of whom was his great uncle, Judge John Y. Peete and wife, Roberta Somervill.   When Judge Peete died in 1928 he left a farm which was to be sold, with the money to be invested in the Episcopal Endowment Corp.  This fund was to be used for the upkeep of Old Trinity...with one stipulation - one service a year was to be held at Old Trinity, with a bishop of the church present and with dinner on the grounds.  In 1994, Bob, Barbara, her son Ben,  and I visited on that Sunday. I believe it was in May. This past Monday when LL and I stopped by there we observed the condition of the floors inside the church.....very unsafe..she would not come past the front door...so I'm not sure that they still meet there.

The large angel monument marks the graves of Judge Peete and Roberta Somervill.  The six  infant grave markers to the right of it are his brothers and sisters, three dying at birth and 3 dying very young.  Another brother was Eugene Hart, Bob's grandfather, who lived  49 years...from 1858 to 1907 and is buried in Covington.. He was killed accidently while attempting to intervene in an altercation betweet his friend,  James Rutherford  and James' wife.  Eugene had served as county clerk of Tipton County.

In September of 1994 vandalism occured and many of the markers were knocked down by auto and broken.. The broken pieces have since been placed on concrete slabs and bonded together, as you can observe in the pictures. Also measures have been taken to cause it to be very difficult to  drive onto the property.

some of the pictures in this slide show were taken this past Monday, others are from previous years visits.

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