Camp Rocks

Make your own scrapbook

Today was the last day of the 5 day Win Shape camp for Bobby...1/2 day only today, family invited and lunch provided by Chick-fil-A...attendance today appx. 600 !!!!
Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A,  started Win Shape Foundation in 1984, a non-profit and charitable foundation with a simple but profound goal, to help "shape winners."
It was a good experience for Bobby....activity oriented but Christ centered teaching.
A full week for me...as I erred on the date of the camp that was held in  Huntsville, the one I originally registered him for...it was held last week and the week was over before I realized it...the one this week was in Decatur, Al....about 50 miles from us...so it was an hour trip each way at 7am to take him and another hour over and hour back at 5 pm to pick him us...  alotta driving and alotta gas....
A friend of ours (Chatty Cathy, as she is known) works in Decatur and was able to take him two of the mornings...so that helped me out a lot...thanks Cathy!
I enjoyed the time there today but it was 100 degrees and we were outside at least half the morning....
I'm glad this week is over  :D)

Safe People

quote from a book I wrote about yesterday...


".....Many of your friends will never understand how much healing you receive when they remember some story or experience they had with your loved one. The ones who do remember and who do tell the stories will be the Safe People who help you heal"

Part of a message I received from a "safe person" and Bob's good friend....National Sales Mgr. and later one of the vice presidents of the company...Borden Inc., Chemical Division...Consumer Products.... 

".......We had many good times together that I will always remember. I recall how happy and surprised he was at his retirement party in Chicago. I think he realized then how many people liked and respected him.


I think you know that Bob always had a special place in my heart. Every time I thought of Bob I smiled. .......... So I'll celebrate his life with a toast and be thankful I knew him and was able to call him my friend"


Thanks Bill

my two youngest grandsons

Bobby and Brian, age 12 and 15,  my grandsons from Richardson, Tx. are here visiting me.  Bobby has been here 3 weeks and Brian 1...(he had some summer school to  take care of before he could come)..they will be here another week after this one....'been good company for me...kept me busy and my mind occupied...I will miss them when they leave.We went shopping yesterday....

One Hundred and Three Days

I have been given 7 book, from well-meaning friends, on grieving and loss..I have read none of them...until yesterday.  The second in a series of three  by Doug Manning  arrived from Julie and the staff at our "home church" in Plano, Tx. It's small enough to read through in about 30 min... It has so much to say that I know is  "right on",   because I'm experiencing it, and so much to say about where I'm at right now...it impacted  me...for my daughters, who read this blog, and for anyone else who cares or can relate, I must share.

 "The more I listen to people in grief, the more I am convinced that everyone in grief has one basic need...someone to simply notice and acknowledge the depths of the pain."

   "He dominates my every thought.  There is never a moment in the day when I am not thinking of him. I've  stopped being who I am and became his bereaved wife.  I have no identity beyond that. I am afraid to laugh, because I feel that would somehow diminish his memory. I am afraid to move on in my grieving...I don't want to let go."

   "The pattern of grief is:
          When the heart breaks
          When the heart bleeds
          When the  heart surrenders
          When the heart heals."

Significance
When bad things happen to us the first thing we want to do and the first thing we need to do is to establish the significance of the event. 

First :The Significance of Your Loss
   You have no idea what you have lost until it is gone. It is almost as if you have to inventory the loss before you can grieve it.  Every day you will think of something else the person brought into your life.  Every day you will think of something else you wanted to do for them or with them.  Memories during the inventory are bittersweet to say the least.  You want to remember each detail and yet each memory brings great pain. These memories are really small miracles.  They come in great pain and flooding tears.  The pain can seem unbearable and never ending, and yet the same memories that now bring such pain will one day become your most comforting friends.
   You want and need the loss acknowledged.  It may sound selfish to say that first you need to establish your own personal loss but you need to remember that in times of deep stress, the number one issue is your own survival and well being.  This is not selfishness, it is the result of the very basic need to survive.

Second: The Significance of the Person You Have Lost
    You need to talk about the value of the person.  You need to tell their story.
(my blog is certainly evidence of the truth in that statement...it's become all about him...all about my loss..)

Third: The Social Significance
   That is why we have funerals.  A funeral is a time for the friends to gather and tell the family how much the person meant to them.  I love flowers at funerals. Many of your friends will never understand how much healing you receive when they remember some story or experience they had with your loved one.  The ones who do remember and who do tell the stories will be the Safe People who help you heal.

Significance and Trivialization
    The need for significance is so deep and so basic that any effort that tries to explain it all away comes across as trivialization ...and that hurts.
Even though I love the Bible and find great comfort in the words and the message, I believe we need to be careful not to use the Bible to trivialize or explain away grief.  Some of the texts that sound wonderful to a non-grieving person may leave you thinking that your grief shows a lack of faith..
Twenty years after a death, a friend can tell someone that  "all things work together for good", but they should not say that the day after a mate dies. The way to make someone really mad is to find a family that has just lost a child and tell them that God will not put more on them than they can bear.  The family is hearing that their pain is not a very big deal right at the time they are wanting and needing someone to take it seriously...someone is trying to down-play the significance of their loss in an effort to help.


Significance and Healing
   If we can establish significance, we can move on.  If we cannot do so, we tend to park there and our loss can become an obsession to us.


Significance and Conflict
   The need for significance can create some conflicts between you and your friends and family.  Everyone wants you to be better.  Their natural tendency is try to cheer you up...unfortunately there is no way to do this without defeating your efforts toward significance.
   A good analogy of this would be to imagine you have a bucket in your hands.  The bucket represents what you are feeling after your loss.  Your bucket is filled to the brim with pain, tension, conflict, fear, doubt and a deep sense of loneliness.  Picture a friend standing in front of you with a bucket.  Their bucket is full also.  Their bucket is full of good advice, cheering up messages, and new ways to look at your loss.  They don't want to get into your bucket.  That is scary.  They are afraid that you might get out of control, or that you might ask them something they cannot answer.  They worry about what they are going to say to you and fear that they might say the wrong thing.  So they try to pour what is in their bucket into yours.  The problem is, your bucket is already full, and all of the stuff in their bucket seems trivial at best and can even cause you pain.  You are not helped and they cannot understand why not.
   That brings us back to the need for safe people.  Safe people simply get into your bucket with you.  Then you can explain your pain.  You can talk about your loss.  You can rave about your love...Telling them about the person you lost and doing so over and over again somehow makes you feel like you have found a way to give honor to the one you love.Ah! And hearing them tell you how much your loved one meant to them and relating stories and experiences they will never forget, somehow makes you feel as if you are not alone in the quest to be sure your loved one never dies..  No one is dead until they are forgotten and there are those who will never let your loved one die."


( I think I have used my blog as my "safe person"....it cannot talk back to me except with comments from those who care.)

Time for another letter

Nurnberg Germany
August 20, 1951

"Dearest Charlene,
   We have just finished eating chow after our first day of training. Most of the time was spent in classrooms listening to orientations on the behavior and conduct of the American soldier while serving in the European Theatre of Operations..and was it dry.  There was one bright spot in the day and that was mail call.  I received two letters from you postmarked the 12th and 13th.  Know something honey? You are very gifted at the art of letter writing.  Your letters always brighten the day for me no matter how dark everything seems to be.  You always say the things I want to hear. In fact, its almost like talking with you in person.
   We were reclassified today and I'm almost sure that I made the M.P.'s  (he did) If so, we'll take our training, which consists of five weeks, at Oberammergan, home of the famous "Passion Plays".  The plays depict the life of Christ.   I hope to see one of these plays before I come back to the states.
   Our enlistment time has been advanced 3 months,
but there is a bright spot on the horizon.  That is the fact that our unused furlough time accumulates at the rate of 2 1/2 days per month and at the end of our enlistment we can take off that much earlier.  In my case it will amount to 60 days.  That means I'll be home about Christmas of '52.  Even that's a long time to be away from you.
  In your letter dated the 13th. you say that if we were together all the time I'd probably grow tired of you.  Someone else maybe, but never you. And those expressions of yours that you think are silly, such as "I'd die, or I couldn't stand it"  (remember, I was only 16)  I think are as cute as a bugs ear. Those are just a few of the things that make you "Miss Charlene Stallings".  By the way, that's a beautiful name.
  Where is that large picture you were having made for me? I'm anxious to get it honey.
   This may sound like tommy rot but sometimes when I lie down at night I can feel your nearness.  Actually it seems that you are there beside me, pressing up close.  I can feel the warmth and tenderness of your body and the sweet pressure of your lips.  Don't think I'm being vulgar, it's just that when a person thinks about someone as much as I do of you, it seems to bring them closer.  Do you suppose it could be mental telepathy?


 (I've been thinking of him in that way since he died...deeply, begging and pleading to feel his closeness...hoping our souls could still reach each other...I do feel somewhat closer to him at those times....but still alone) 
back to his letter...


   It's about time to cease for tonight.  It's 8 o'clock here and 2 back there in Covington.  I wonder what you're thinking about and what you're doing.


I love you Charlene,
Bob


P.O.  take good care of yourself and don't take any wooden nickels."     (he's so cute!  )

My Top Ten list on aging

The dirty, low-down, no good monster has crept up from behind and overtaken me!

Webster has this to say about it:
 Ageing or aging (American and Canadian English) is the accumulation of changes in an organism or object over time.

I have this to say about it:

# 1.

First comes retirement(this is a good thing - especially when you can retire at age 53)

       An end to 13 years of early hour rising followed by a hurried trip to the train station.. followed by a 35 minute ride into  downtown Chicago.. followed by a five block walk through piles of snow, icy sidewalks, freezing wind...followed by dealing with young graduates who have just passed their CPA exams and have little knowledge of, and NO experience in bookkeeping... an end to long hours of work during tax season (Jan. 1 - April 15th.)

  

I retired in 1988. This picture was taken in 1981...before bookkeeping was computerized and receipts, disbursements, sales, purchases, accounts receivable, accounts payable, payroll, journals and general ledgers were entered by hand writing...ughh!


#2.
FREEDOM

Traveling, spending time with grandchildren, going to movies (during the day!),enjoying sex (during the day!),going out for breakfast at 10 am...These are all good things!     

sorry....no pictures available of "having sex during the day"....

# 3.

Moving back to Texas! 1988 a good thing...

                   "Pictures are worth a thousand words."

# 3.
1988

  Acquiring new furniture and purchasing what, at the time, you thought would be your last home. Again, these are good things:

 Plano, Texas

# 4.
Downsizing 1999 
  really not such a bad thing...we were still able to enjoy a nice home...and without so much upkeep and expense...

it really does snow in the Dallas area

great-grandkids enjoying my bath tub...

PaPa Peete enjoying another great-grandchild...

# 5.
gray hair, wrinkles and flab... ughhh  the noticeable changes...

1989...age 59 and 54

1999   age 69 ad 64

2009...age 79 and 74...April 24, Queen Wilhelmina Lodge, Mena, Ar...our 56th.  wedding anniversary (and our last one together)

the worst is yet to come.................

# 6.
Aches, pains and other physical maladies

   

Arthritis, gall bladder removal, minor depression, weight gain...all me....enlarged prostate,(that would be him, of course :)high blood pressure, arrhythmia, nuclear stress tests, cataract removal, colonoscopies, ...are we having fun yet? has it really been a month since we had sex !!!

# 7.

Losing a good friend

with Bill and Beth Shipman, Mena Ar. 1956

     

New Years Eve with Bill and Beth...1993

# 8

Saying goodby to mother 1915

 1931

1956

.

mother, dad, me and my siblings..each of us at around the age of 30 yrs

Mom, Bob and our children 1965

Mom and Barb...1992...a few months before she died in '93 from emphysema

# 9.
Cancer

 first, our beautiful Laura... I believe it was 1998..she is a cancer survivor...praise the Lord...

and my beloved husband 2009.2010

# 10.
Losing Bob

Don't Say Anything, Author Unknown

Don't tell me "things happen for a reason."

Don't tell me to "keep busy" and "move on."

Don't tell me that you "know how I feel."

Don't tell me that it was "too hard" for YOU to talk to ME about the death of MY husband.

Don't tell me that YOU feel "uncomfortable"looking at his picture or calling me on his birthday.

Don't SAY anything to try to make me feel better.

Hug me.

Listen to me.

Sit quietly with me.

Let me cry.

Smile when you look at his picture.

Help me plant a tree in his memory.

Allow me to sleep wrapped in his clothing.

Light a candle.

Release a balloon.

Walk with me on my journey.

Remember him forever.

Letter #14

"Nurnberg  Military Post Stocade
July 18, 1951

Leibling
   Please excuse the pencil as I don't have a fountain pen handy at present.
   Those pictures that you sent arrived yesterday and Charlene, they are exactly like you.  What I mean to say is they reveal just how pretty you really are.  They don't show those big, green, ever changing eyes though. I have just shown your pictures to a German clerk that I work with. Do you know what his comment was?" Hmmm, she's really pretty!" There is one that I especially like.  You are standing with your face tilted up, as if to say, "how's this?'.  Thanks a million kitten.

I went for a stroll around the prison wall today.  It is about a half mile around, and from the top you can see the Palace of Justice in its entirety.  Then directly behind the stockade is a small wooden building that houses the scaffolds upon which the German war criminals were hung.

It is so unimpressive in comparison to the "P of J" that it is difficult to imagine its historic significance.  In all probability Nurnberg is the most historic city in Germany.  It is full of tradition.  A person can gain a lot of valuable knowledge by observing the people, their customs, habits and by taking an active interest in their social activities.
   Say, if by some chance you don't have a date tomorrow would you like to go to Maywood and spend the day? We could swim, lie around in the sand and talk all day...then when it starts getting cool we could go into the pavilion and dance for a few hours.  That is, if  you aren't busy.
   There isn't much more that I can tell you tonight and you're probably tired from working so I'll sign off for awhile.
   I need you Charlene, more than anyone or anything.

   Need I say that "I love you" ?
Bob

P.S.
I'm anxious for that large photo of you to get here."

good day - bad day

Yesterday Barb and I drove half way to Dallas to meet up with Eddie, who was bringing Bobby to spend a few weeks with us. Our plan was to meet in Little Rock but he got to that point about 30-45 minuets before we did so he kept on driving and we met in Brinkly about 1:30...had a late lunch, exchanged cargo and each turned around and headed back to their original destination. We left home at 8:15 am and got back to Huntsville around 8:30 pm...long day.


We made a stop in  Holly Springs, Ms. and visited about an hour with friends from school days, Bob and Shirley Young.  'Hadn't seen them in many years...it was nice to catch up and do a little reminising about old times....

"Those were the days, my friend

 We'd thought they'd never end

 We'd sing and dance

 Forever and the day

Those were the days, my friend

    those were the days"

 Bob and Shirley...back in the "day"
   

 
 

and now....They are dear people.

The am drive from Al. afforded Barb and I some quiet, "alone time" together...we discussed our shared grief...many tears...struggling with our inability to have even one day free of the pain of losing...her beloved Dad...my beloved soul mate.

"They are not long, the days of wine and roses:"

"When bright flowers bloom
Parchment crumbles, my words fade
The pen has dropped ..".
- Morpheus

right click on play and select open link...

Create a free picture slideshow

the sweetest letter yet

July 18, 1951
Nurnberg Military Post Stockade
Nurnberg, Germany


I've skipped a few letters..this one is #12


"Howdy Darling,
   If you noticed the address on the envelope you're probably wondering why I'm in prison.  It's like this; this is where I have been assigned for the remainder of my Army career.  I wouldn't place the return address on the envelope if it weren't required by postal regulations as it could probably be the object of a few questions. Actually, I only work here in the office as a clerk and although everyone is friendly and most helpful this type work isn't for me.
   Tell me honey, have you ever heard of the "Palace of Justice",  scene of the infamous war atrocity crime trials? This is where I'm located.  I feel lucky to live in the same buildings where such an historic series of events took place.  Herman Goering hung himself in one of the cells.  Gruesome thought, isn't it!"


 This is a picture of the inside of the prison that he later sent me ...

      "Do me a favor Charlene, will you?  Tell this John Williamson character to be nice to you or I'll  (how big is he?) punch him in the kisser when I get home.  You might also tell him that if he hasn't won you by Sept. of '52 that I am going to give him some competition.  Think there's a chance?"
 
He had only been gone 6 weeks and I was already dating !!! But at least, in my behalf, I told him about it...and there NEVER was any competition...I never cared much for anyone I dated while he was gone...


   "And Charlene, I do love you, no matter what anyone should ever tell you.  My stomach turns to jelly every time I think of you.  You've heard the song that has lyrics to this effect..you're in my dreams, asleep or awakening...that's exactly how it is with me.  And when I do come home ( you won't know when because I'm going to slip in),    (and he did!)    I intend to hold you and kiss you until you can hardly catch your breath, then when you do catch your breath I'll do the same thing again. (And he did!)
   You were asking whether I knew definitely when I'm due to come back to the states.  My draft papers stated 21 months starting the 26th. of Jan. 1951.  That would allow my discharge to come due in Sept. of '52.  Some say that we've been extended 3 months...(they were)...but our service records still state 21 months ...so actually your guess is as good as mine.  One thing for sure, I'm coming home first chance possible.
   Tell Molly something for me please.  Tell her that she's getting slightly scatterbrained.  What's this about her falling for Henry Williamson? What about Hump? Or does she remember the guy! Tell her I said that she falls in and out of love as often as I change socks, which is every day.
 Well enough of that - back to us.
   I have in mind, at present, a small night club, the Belmont in Memphis to be exact , and a little wishing well...(I remember that night!)...Also in this picture there is a young lady and man.  The young man, looking into same young lady's eyes thinks, or rather wishes something to this effect. "Why couldn't I have met her a year ago and I wonder if she could ever love me as I do her.  All my life I've dreamed about her, wondering if there was such a thing as true and binding love and now that I've found the one girl in the universe for me, I'll have to leave her in a few days.  Wonder what she's thinking about?" Well it seems as though she was thinking the same thing at the same time.  That is my definition of mental telepathy.  When two people are thinking so intensely on the same subject or along the same lines that their thoughts are identical then it's in it's most advanced form.  You know what I'm referring to, don't you Charlene? I think you felt, or sensed how much I love you that night.   (Well I'm not sure about that...but I am sure that I sensed  how much I loved him!)
   Kitten, I've repeated the phrase "I love you" more to you than anyone I've ever known.  Tonight I want to tell you, more than ever, how I feel because, darling,  for the last week especially, I've needed you with me and right now I need you more than ever . .If only tonight I could put my arms around your waist, have your arms around my neck and pull you close to me for a kiss, then things would look differently.  My action's would express my emotions.


   (Wow...it's getting warm in here)  


One thing, Charlene, don't misconstrue the fact that I'm in prison.  I am not here as a prisoner..this is my new assignment.


I love you,
Bob
P.S. I'm dead on my feet or I would write more. I have much more to talk about tomorrow night.  Especially the pictures.  Till then Auf  Wiedersehen, or better still, good night and pleasant dreams."

Letter No. 9...59 years ago today

Bob wrote 8 letters the first month he was gone...June 1951.  I have a total of 45 letters, written over a period of 11 months...he was gone 19 months so no communication between us for the 8 months preceding his return home in Jan. 1953 ...but I'm getting ahead of our story...

Nurnberg, Germany
July 8th, 1951


"Howdy Kitten,
  Another weekend is rapidly coming to a close and I've had a very good time, considering the lack of your companionship.  Saturday morning, Hump and a few other friends  and I played a little tennis.  Actually I only played AT the game, as I'm just learning.  Then Saturday night we went bowling and also to an establishment known as the "Twilight Club".  They had a German orchestra that I thought was good.  This European talent is the best...At least it's the best I've seen.  The army has given  a lot of guys like myself an opportunity to see and hear things that otherwise would have been impossible.
   Talk about characters ! There are 8 fellows in the room, including myself, and believe me they are really varied in their personalities and nationality.  There are a couple Italians, one Greek, an Englishman and several mixed breads like Hump and  I.  You should see the Greek when he gets drunk.  He is really a comedian.  His Dad is a big time gambler and he knows all the racateer's in Indiana.  Some of the wild tales he tells are as comical as a cage full of monkeys.
   We are going into our 2nd. week of training which is boresome as can be.  Most of our time is spent listening to lieutenants, majors, colonel's and occasionally a general lecturing on the subject of Eucom...(European Command)
   There is a lot to be seen here in Germany that is interesting.  Hitler erected a building here in Nurnberg from which he intended to rule the world
   If I repeat myself in these letters excuse it please.  It is hard to remember what was said in previous letters.
   These German's really dislike the American people.  One bright spot on this subject is that they also hate the Russian's.  Question is, which do they hate more.  They still think Hitler was the greatest human being that ever lived.  Actually he did a lot of good for his country although his virtues were greatly overshadowed by his faults.
   We have a healthy discussion underway about football teams in Tennessee and Indiana.  You and I both know that Tennessee has the best team in the nation...right?
   It's time for lights out so good night and peasant dreams.
I love you, Charlene
Bob
P.S. I mean it!
PPS. Honest, I do.
PPPS. You believe me, don't you?


hope I get a letter tomorrow."

Chop Wood, Carry Water

"It's the "chop wood, carry water" thing that inspired Rick Fields' book.
The story goes that the Master was asked what he did before enlightenment. He replied "I would carry water and chop wood." So the students ask what he did after enlightenment, and he said, "I carry water and chop wood." In other words, we're supposed do the lovely, ordinary tasks the day presents. On your way to success and recognition and dreams coming true, you chop wood, carry water. On the days when success looks unlikely and you can hardly remember what your dreams were about, you chop wood, carry water. It's grounding. And humbling. And satisfying. And enchanting."
 Victoria Moran

Letter No.8

Nurnburg, Germany
July 6th 1951


"Mien Kitten,
We have just finished our weekly party, sometimes called a "G.I. Party". You've heard about these parties, I'm sure, but in case you haven't here goes. A few of the fellows get together and sweep, mop, dust, shine, polish and buff each and every item in their respective rooms. Sounds like fun, doesn't it. Well, actually, I can't understand why they call them parties  because there is a lot of work involved. I sympathize with the housewife as I know what a job she has.
    Got another letter from you today and believe me honey, your letters are much appreciated. As I've told you before, if no one wrote me except you I would never complain. In your letter you say it has been eleven days since you received one from me. I'm sorry that the mail service is so slow. Seldom does a day lapse that I don't write you. The letter may not say much except that I love you and I'm thinking about you, but if you feel the same as I, that's really all that matters.
    You were asking if Hump and I were still together. The answer is yes. Also you asked what has happened to Molly and him. Question, what has happened to Molly? Hump writes her practically every day and he has gotten only two from her since we left. I can imagine how I would feel if you were the same way about writing.
    You spoke about the terrific heat wave back there.  Over here it's very pleasant all the time.  Seldom does the temp. exceed 75 degrees and at night we have to use our blankets.  Personally though, I prefer hot weather.
    Sure would like to see you in your two new dresses.  I'm glad to hear that you and Marlene had a good time in Memphis.  We were in high school at the same time, but in different classes.
    It's eleven p.m. and I still have to shave and clean up, besides tidying up my footlocker, so I'll have to say goodnight, sweetheart.
    I miss you, Charlene,
Love,
 Bob"

July 4th...2010 and 2006

June 30, 1951 Sonthofen, Germany

"Darling,
   'Our last night at Sonthofen and Hump, Nut and I are enjoying ourselves here at the club. The U.S. Government really furnishes good entertainment in the way of orchestra's.  We are listening to the German equivalent of  "The Three Suns." Suppose you know that I wish you were here.

   "Although our stay here has been very pleasant I'll be glad to get on the road again.  There's only one place that I would like to stay forever, and that is with you.  The place we are to be stationed is Nurnburg.  You've probably read about the trials that were held there for the Nazi war criminals.  It is supposedly a fairly large, modern city.  Hump and I will remain together but Charlie will be going to Munich.  Also we are losing Eddie Green, another Memphis Rebel.  He was at the party out at the Cottage Inn with us. I'm really going to miss these guys.

   Received your letter dated the 22nd. and you say that people think you're too young.  That my be true but you'll never convince me, cause honey, I've held you in my arms and kissed you.  You may be 16 with some fellows but you act older when you're with me.  The term years is only a way of marking time and the heart has no clock to govern its emotions.  You are as old as you feel.  The authenticity of our love I'll never doubt.
   This combo "The Three Woodpeckers" is as good as anything I've heard back in the states. They are typical Germans too...tall, blond,wavy hair and blue eyes.  They're playing a request of mine now.  Guess what?  That's right.  " Too Young"
   That's about it for tonight, kitten so "ich liba dich."
Much love, Bob
P.S. Keep sending letters  here until I write my new address.

stop the world...I wanta get off

okay....I've had enough...'woke up this morning resolving to stop the whinning...no more feeling sorry for myself...

lets see how long that lasts !

Lost

Lost and all alone
I always thought that I could make it on my own
Since you left I hardly make it through the day
My tears get in the way
And I need you back to stay


I wander through the night
And search the world to find
The words to make it right
All I want is just the way it used to be

With you here close to me
I've got to make you see


That I'm lost without your love
Life without you isn't worth the trouble of
I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel
A touch without a feel
I can't believe it's real...


Maybe  someday soon I'll wake
And find my heart won't have to break




Lyrics by Bread