back for a moment...

I woke up this morning
  you were not here...

Time passed as I planted, weeded, watered
  you were not there..

I had lunch...it was not beans, greens and cornbread at The Cracker Barrel ,
or a spinich omelette at La Madalines, or apple blintzes at the IHOP.....with you
 because you are not here...

I cried myself to sleep...
   because you are not here.

I feel like an  alien in this place...
I don't belong here anymore.
..
  because you are not here.

checking out

Sorry children, but I'm going to take a break from blogging ... for a while anyway...my hearts just not into it right now. I'll email and call.
Love,
Mother

Lost In the 50's Tonight

Memories

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine

Quiet thought come floating down
And settle softly to the ground
Like golden autumn leaves around my feet
I touched them and they burst apart with sweet memories,

Sweet memories
Of holding hands and red bouquets
And twilight trimmed in purple haze
And laughing eyes and simple ways
And quiet nights and gentle days with you

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine,
Memories, memories, sweet memories

Mothers Day

After church we had bar-b-que...Alabama bar-b-que....the best kind...pulled pork...
We stopped by Lowes on the way home for more flowers, etc...then worked in the yard...we fed bread to the geese and they came very close to us....Ben hung my piece of leaded , beveled glass in the window for me....it was a nice day.

a travel log

Bob loved the outdoors...camping, hiking, walking, riding, rafting, climbing...he didn't  care for swimming but he did enjoy going to the beach (Florida,  Santa Cruz, Ca.,  Galveston, Tx.,  Kauai, Hawaii) ...and taking the little sightseeing cruises in Chicago on Lake Michigan, or in New Orleans on Lake Pontchartrain. When we lived in Palatine, Il. we really enjoyed hooking up our bikes to the auto and driving into Chicago to bike along Lake Michigan...Lake Shore Drive...We also biked in the Forest Preserves there. He perservered with his exercises much  longer than I did ...'think thats one reason I was so surprised that he did not outlive me...I think the radiation was just too much for him to overcome...because he was free of cancer when he died....it was the treatment that took his life.

Lake Michigan, Chicago

 

                                     

                                 1984  outside Ellis Airforce Base, Nevada             

                                        

                                  cleaning shrimp ...Pensacola, Fl.  1985

Lake Geneva, Wi. 1987

Biking  on Sanibel Island, Fl.  1989                     

doing a back-flip...1991   age 62

          overnight raft trip on the Rio Grand, 1992                                              

             climbing Enchanted Rock, Tx. 2004 age 75

things to do at 3 am

I watch the videos that I have made of him..."Sweet Memories"..."the first time ever I saw your face"...and remember...

how "smitten" I was the first time ever I saw his face...

the love he had for his family and how proud he was of his children...

how much time he spent with them...playing, instructing, emphasing how important it is to be honest..to treat others fairly, to give of yourself, to be a "good sport", to respect your elders, to say "ma"am and sir", that it was okay for boys to cry,  to never forget your mothers birthday,

I remember how, in  the early years  of our marriage,  he persevered at a job that he did not like...that kept him away from home, that paid very little..he stayed year after year for seven years, because he was responsible and would not take chances with the well fare of his family....but years later he would talk about that period in our life and how much he learned from it...

his love for this country...how much he enjoyed the opportunity he had to travel and see it...

his love for dogs, the University of Texas, camping with his boys, the pride he had in his home, the way he would wear the same 'ol sweatshirts for years, his respect for George Bush (both of them)...

how much respect and support he gave me...

I remember his tenderness and his toughness...

   and I cry...

It recently occured to me that not only did I lose my husband, my children lost their father...a father they all adored. I've been so absorbed in my own grief  that I've not considered theirs...
I must remember that.
....this sad, little face lost his PaPa Peete

                

Mia entertains us